i'm a grooming gangs survivor - the government called me a liar

It has been an emotionally and physically draining time (Picture: Ellie-Ann Reynolds)

Earlier this week,I resigned from the liaison panel of the national inquiry into grooming gangs. 

I quit alongside my fellow child sexual abuse survivor Fiona Goddard,and later this week three more followed,as well as an expert. It has been an emotionally and physically draining time. 

As a survivor,I knew it was morally right to speak publicly about my experiences at the hands of grooming gangs. I knew it might be the best chance to raise awareness about grooming gangs,informing the public about an active problem in our country. 

We have been swept under the carpet for decades,and in the process of the inquiry,we’ve faced challenges from the government,and specifically Safeguarding Minister Jess Phillips,who I believe has done survivors a significant disservice. 

Jess Phillips has severely let us down during this inquiry (Picture: Joseph Walshe / SWNS)

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Start your day informed with Metro's News Updates newsletter or get Breaking News alerts the moment it happens.Phillips said that it was ‘misinformation’ to suggest that the scope of the inquiry could be widened,and ‘set the record straight’ – in the process insinuating that myself and other survivors had lied – something we challenged in our recent public letter. The decision to quit the inquiry was not an easy one. Over a 48-hour period,I found myself weighing up the pros and cons of continuing,feeling drained,isolated and withdrawn.But in the end,there were zero pros,and two major,undeniable cons. I felt like I was being restricted,unable to speak freelyQuoteQuoteFirstly,I was deeply concerned when the two proposed candidates for the chair were revealed to have backgrounds in either policing or social work. I didn’t have faith that either of these individuals would be able to enter the inquiry in a non-biased and impartial way. These are the very institutions that failed me,and the other survivors,over a long,long period of time.My second concern was what I saw as controlling behaviour of panellists,the NWG charity tasked with running the panel,and the Home Office. Survivors were told we were not allowed to reach out to our usual support networks. When it came to potential chairs – survivors theoretically interviewed the candidates,but our questions,and our answers to follow-ups from candidates,were scripted by the Home Office. They’re the institutions that silenced us so they could remain comfortable (Picture: ITV)If we were contacted by the media,we were to report straight back to NWG. And we were made to feel uncomfortable if we discussed the ethnicity and religious background of abusers. 

Learn more about Rape Crisis England & Wales

Rape Crisis England & Wales is a charity working to end rape,sexual assault,sexual harassment,child sexual abuse – and all other forms of sexual violence.

Whether it happened recently,or a long time ago; whether you know without a doubt that you experienced sexual violence,or aren't quite sure; whether it happened to you,or someone you know; Rape Crisis England & Wales will always believe you and listen to you,and they can offer you information and support.

You can find out more about Rape Crisis England & Wales here; and if you're aged 16 or over,you can call the charity's 24/7 support line for free on 0808 500 2222.

I felt like I was being restricted,unable to speak freely. It was like constantly walking on eggshells. It was an environment that was impossible for me to feel safe in.

With all this in mind,it became clear that I could no longer participate in the inquiry. 

It has been a difficult week,but people have reacted very positively,and I appreciate the support. 

I spoke out about the failings of the inquiry because I felt it was the right thing to do. All I ever wanted from it was justice,and I don’t feel like I’m going to get it from this panel,this minister,and this government. 

Myself and the other survivors have been silenced for years,but we found our voices because we wanted to protect the future and to be able to get to the truth. 

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Do you think the government is doing enough? Share your thoughts belowComment Now

We need to acknowledge that what happened to me,and to the other survivors,is still going on. Rape gangs are active and operating all over the country,and for that to change,we have to stand united. 

I no longer feel I can trust institutions. 

I hope,even with our departure,that some good can come of this inquiry. To make sure that enough awareness is raised so that people recognise the signs of rape gangs and understand how urgent it is that we expose them. 

We have to expose this sickening crime that is happening right under our noses. 

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